Time Travel the Novelty Treat Way

August 1, 2008

Last night, my Fresno gang and I traveled to the Chukchansi Park to watch the Giants’ AAA ball club, the Fresno Grizzlies, play the Memphis Redbirds. At least I think they played the Memphis Redbirds. I know we played Memphis, but I can’t guarantee they were the Redbirds.

None of this really matters though, because the game was merely the back drop to the fun party I hosted at the Grizzlie stadium pool. You can read all about the party here, at my friend Will Albritton’s blog on the Fresno Bee newspaper’s Beehive.

http://www.fresnobeehive.com/archives/2008/07/wills_photo_blo.html#more
The party really was fun and at one point I purchased some Dippin’ Dot ice cream to share with everyone. For those of you that may not be familiar with the Dippin’ Dot concept, it is basically tiny little beads of ice cream kept at something like 20 degree below zero.


Picture of Dippin Dots

Dippin’ Dots is actually pretty good stuff. I chose “cookies and creme” and “mint chocolate chip”, and everyone at the party seemed to enjoy the sweet treat. My problem with Dippin’ Dots is not the actual product, but rather their slogan “Ice Creme of the Future”.

Dippin’ Dots was developed in 1987…I was in tenth grade. I truly believed back then that in the future I would all be enjoying my summer vacation on Mars and getting a break from the extreme heat by spooning Dippin’ Dots into my mouth with my bionic arms. It would no longer be the ice creme of the future, but since we were now in the future it would be the ice creme of the present. How long does a person have to wait before the future rolls around.

I actually think Dippin’ Dots might increase their miniscule market share if they became the “Ice Creme of the Present”. I am sure there are some people who won’t even give this newfangled fancy futuristic ice creme a try because it is just to modern for them.

I realize “the Ice Creme of the Present” doesn’t have the same Star Trekkian hook, but at some point you have to admit that the future is here and ice creme may not be the portal through time I wish it was.

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I want to be a Smog City Roller Girl

April 1, 2008

According to the often questionably referenced Wikipedia, the term roller derby dates back to a Chicago Tribune article from 1922. But I have to admit, the first time I ever experienced the power of the roller derby was in a 1970s Laverne and Shirley episode.

Until last year, I had managed to live some thirty-odd years thinking this shining example of feminism had gone the way of the equal rights amendment (yeah ERA!).

But last year I stumbled into Valdez Hall in downtown Fresno to experience the Smog City Roller Girls in their last match of the 2007 season. It was a mix of family night at the local Skate-town and Fight Club…that is if Brad Pitt was a smokin’ chick and wore hot pink rock-a-billy attire complete with face paint and fishnets.

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It goes without saying that these chicks are hardcore women who know how to maneuver around a flat track course on four-wheeled skates (no in-line pussy skates allowed) while fighting off a menacing pack of rivals.

If you pull up the the official Women’s Flat Track Derby Association (WFTDA) website and download the 21 page rule-book, you will find it filled with such ominous statements such as “the head may not be used in blocking”, “skaters may not trip or intentionally fall in front of another skater”, and “protective gear should include at a minimum wrist guards, elbow pads, knee pads, mouth guards and helmets”. The blood sport reality of Roller Derby is deceptive, as in many way this is family entertainment at its best.

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This last Saturday night I again ventured down to the 2008 Smog City Roller Girls season opener against the Wine Country Homewreckers. While SCRG gotten taken to the proverbial woodshed with a painful loss to the Sonoma County crew, the crowd at Valdez Hall for the event was bigger and more enthusiastic.

People brought signs emblazoned with the name of their favorite skater, there was plenty of beer to go around, tons of really young kids…the five and under set…were up on their feet shaking literal and figurative pink and black pompons. There was the downtown vagabond crowd, the Tower rat folks, the Clovis cowboy types and even the north Fresno SUV set…it was like a cross-section of the Fresno demographic…all yelling for these chicks as they beat the daylights out of each other. It was awesome!

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I purchased several beers, enjoyed a hotdog and some nachos straight outta 1987, and wished I was hardcore enough to be a roller girl. Now I consider myself fairly fearless.  I am not really a make-up and hairspray type of girl…more of a wilderness, Burning Man and coconut rum gal. But I have to admit, these girls scare me. They shove and punch and trash-talk and elbow each other…all while traveling as fast as possible on skates. And they manage to employ strategy and skill into what is a fairly technical sport…all while looking uber sexy.

Yeah, I wanna be a roller girl. But before I go show up at their weekly Tuesday “new girls” practice session, I better go make sure my health insurance covers bad decisions.

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