Competitive eating “Fresno Style”

April 30, 2009

I just discovered that the International Federation of Competitive Eating (IFOCE) is a very formal looking organization which supervises and regulates competitive eating around the world. The event today at Milanos on Fresno’s beautiful Fulton Mall had absolutely nothing to do with this organization.

Nor did today’s event look anything like those NBC Dateline specials highlighting the reign of Takeru Kobayashi, the world famous diminutive Japanese competitive eater. Anytime I have ever seen these televised spectacles the “athletes” have been infused with the energy and speed of Kentucky Derby thoroughbred.

There were no thoroughbreds to be found among the four eaters at Milanos, but god bless ’em…they did look like they were in pain. The event was the Megazone Challenge and four local bloggers went ‘belly to belly’ to see who could eat a huge pie size calzone the fastest. Also up for the taking, the 17 minute record held by some guy no one could remember. (I actually never ever want to meet that guy).

Small crowd of local web roamers showed up to enjoy watching what ended up being quite an agonizing show.

Check out the video to see for yourself.

In the end, Ed Stewart was victorious, and with a time over 30 minutes the old record seems safe for a while.

My take away from this whole event…never under ANY circumstances…volunteer for a competitive eating challenge.

But for those of you that really feel competitive eating has a place in Fresno, the IFOCE is actively mandated “to study and encourage the development of new categories of competitive eating, specifically with investigation into the possibility of a liquid-centric event, excluding soup or alcohol”. With all the dairies in the area, how about the Fresno “Mega-Nacho Cheese Challenge” or the Fresno “Mega-Yogurt Challenge”? Just sayin’!

1 Comment | Fresno, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , , | Permalink
Posted by silverlinin

I want to be a Smog City Roller Girl

April 1, 2008

According to the often questionably referenced Wikipedia, the term roller derby dates back to a Chicago Tribune article from 1922. But I have to admit, the first time I ever experienced the power of the roller derby was in a 1970s Laverne and Shirley episode.

Until last year, I had managed to live some thirty-odd years thinking this shining example of feminism had gone the way of the equal rights amendment (yeah ERA!).

But last year I stumbled into Valdez Hall in downtown Fresno to experience the Smog City Roller Girls in their last match of the 2007 season. It was a mix of family night at the local Skate-town and Fight Club…that is if Brad Pitt was a smokin’ chick and wore hot pink rock-a-billy attire complete with face paint and fishnets.

img_0956.jpg

It goes without saying that these chicks are hardcore women who know how to maneuver around a flat track course on four-wheeled skates (no in-line pussy skates allowed) while fighting off a menacing pack of rivals.

If you pull up the the official Women’s Flat Track Derby Association (WFTDA) website and download the 21 page rule-book, you will find it filled with such ominous statements such as “the head may not be used in blocking”, “skaters may not trip or intentionally fall in front of another skater”, and “protective gear should include at a minimum wrist guards, elbow pads, knee pads, mouth guards and helmets”. The blood sport reality of Roller Derby is deceptive, as in many way this is family entertainment at its best.

img_0969.jpg

This last Saturday night I again ventured down to the 2008 Smog City Roller Girls season opener against the Wine Country Homewreckers. While SCRG gotten taken to the proverbial woodshed with a painful loss to the Sonoma County crew, the crowd at Valdez Hall for the event was bigger and more enthusiastic.

People brought signs emblazoned with the name of their favorite skater, there was plenty of beer to go around, tons of really young kids…the five and under set…were up on their feet shaking literal and figurative pink and black pompons. There was the downtown vagabond crowd, the Tower rat folks, the Clovis cowboy types and even the north Fresno SUV set…it was like a cross-section of the Fresno demographic…all yelling for these chicks as they beat the daylights out of each other. It was awesome!

img_0955.jpg

I purchased several beers, enjoyed a hotdog and some nachos straight outta 1987, and wished I was hardcore enough to be a roller girl. Now I consider myself fairly fearless.  I am not really a make-up and hairspray type of girl…more of a wilderness, Burning Man and coconut rum gal. But I have to admit, these girls scare me. They shove and punch and trash-talk and elbow each other…all while traveling as fast as possible on skates. And they manage to employ strategy and skill into what is a fairly technical sport…all while looking uber sexy.

Yeah, I wanna be a roller girl. But before I go show up at their weekly Tuesday “new girls” practice session, I better go make sure my health insurance covers bad decisions.

Leave a Comment » | Fresno, Uncategorized | Tagged: , , | Permalink
Posted by silverlinin