Moneyslice

moneyslice.gif

No one really remembers when Moneyslice wandered into Homeslice. Some claim she’s been around for years, stalking The Commander and sleeping under the Big Butt. Stealing his Tasty Bites and climbing onto the Tower in those calm hours of the night while everyone was at the clubs…singing Irish lullabies in hopes of enchanting The Commander under her absinthe hued spell.

Others think she was brought in during the double rainbow of 2007, having actualize in the menacing dust storm which prefaced that amazing color spectacular.

1933132520_854a1a1f50_b2.jpg

With her scarlet hair and emerald eyes, she claims to be part Irish. But those that pour Guinness at the Paddy Mirage argue that in fact she is not Irish, but part Leprechaun. With her affinity for rainbows and ever-annoying search for gold…the veracity of this statement must be contemplated.

paddy.jpg

If you are one of the rare souls lucky enough to meet her under the shade structure during the morning calm, she might tell you seemingly tall tales about being a dominatrix in the sex clubs of Amsterdam. But just as one is about to fall under the spell of her spiral-illusion breast plate, she tosses her Midori velvet cape to her chest, smiles sweetly and asks casually “where do you think Dicky is now?”.

46847658_59a09467a4_b1.jpg

She won’t go out to the clubs with other Slicers, but if you look closely you will see her dancing in the dust, dressed as a she-devil.

She wears a monocle so she can count the Homeslice cash while simultaneously gazing out across the playa for potential threats to the tribe’s riches. She carries no weapon for she is trained in the martial arts and has killed for the tribe before. It goes without saying that despite her petite stature and cool smile, she is a bitch…squeezing every last penny from the family Slice…the equivalent to our own Tony Soprano, demanding family loyalty above all else.

While her moniker may have been shared by other Slicers before, Moneyslice is making 2008 her year to come out. And come out she must…she wants your cash, your gold, your Benjamin’s…but if you carry the luck of the Irish with you…you just might get to keep your soul!

2 Responses to Moneyslice

  1. See's avatar See says:

    lmao!

    Brilliant!

  2. Otter's avatar Otter says:

    Moneyslice is a fine alterego, but you will always be Silverlining to me. thanks for picking up the slack. You need a LA roadtrip soon. I am trying to start a Homeslice Yard sale.

Leave a comment